7 posts tagged “qotd”

What was the best date you went on in high school?

If by best, you mean most confusing, awkward, and historically calamitous, then easily my Senior Prom. My boyfriend and I had broken up 6 weeks prior to Prom.  I know because post-break-up, in my shallow high school girl mind, I wondered who (if anyone) I would be going to Prom with.  Along came A, who happened to be intensely smart, cool, and doting.  He was definitely a dark house candidate, being a year younger than me, and not particularly handsome, but he pursued me like the jewel in the desert that I was, and asked me to go with him to Prom weeks before anyone else was being asked.  Coincidentally, he was the ex-friend of my ex-boyfriend, so there was certainly an element of high school revenge as an undercurrent.

Preparations were afoot for the big night.  His mother rented him a convertible as our transport.  He consulted me on the style and shape of his tux.  We even planned on driving out to the beach after the dance, even though this was at least 2 hours away (his suggestion, he wanted to be different from everyone else).  A friend of mine assured me a most amazing corsage had been selected for me.  He made reservations at a well-known, high-end Italian restaurant that I'd always wanted to go to.  There was a lot of build up to the night.

But, as any good high school story goes, the night was one perfect disaster.

For one, he seemed nervous from the time he picked me up that evening.  In the photos my parents took with both of us, his nervous smile is forever proof of this.  The dance itself was fine, though we opted to leave early so we could get to the beach portion of our evening. He drove for two hours, and of course it was almost pitch black when we got to the beach.  I remember I was getting ready to get out of the car when he said, "Can we talk?".  I sat back down.  The tone in his voice was serious enough I started to wonder if was dying, or something else equally catastrophic.  He sighed repeatedly, and had a hard time getting out what he wanted to say.  Finally, he turned to me, and said,

"There's no easy way to say this.  So, I'm just going to say this.  I've come to realize these last few weeks that.......I'm gay."

I still wonder why he chose that moment to tell me, and even stranger, why he refused to talk to me after that night, as I hadn't said anything remotely rude, other than conveying shock (I was after all 17 and sheltered).  Perhaps in the confusing, hormone-fueled times that are high school I was merely a test to his emerging sexuality.  In hindsight, his overtly gentlemanly ways (held hands, pecks on the cheek, but nothing more) and his obsessive, well-atuned sense of fashion made the news obvious.

A couple years later I ran into him when I was home from college on break.  He had forgiven me for whatever it was that he felt I did improperly, and I forgave him for ruining one of the most romantically built-up nights of my high school career. At that time he was out (to everyone), going to school in San Francisco, and having the time of his life.  I wished him well.  Though there are still those times when I wonder, why Prom night? Perhaps he didn't want to ruin it for me.  Perhaps he didn't want to ruin it for himself.  It's high school, what more can you say.

At home or in the theater: What's the last great movie you watched?

Well, if "great" can include dragging your husband on a rare overnight date night, to a 10:30pm showing where teenage girls are screaming at the screen because it's opening night and they love teenage vampires, especially the broody one, named for an Austen character, and rather hot if I may say so myself and hopefully that doesn't make me too much of a Cougar...then...

Twilight

Let's just say I still owe him a date to see this one:

Quantum of Solace

What have you lost that you wish you still had?
Submitted by gunderson bee.

Funny you should ask.

In life, we all experience loss, and fairly often.  We lose our keys.  We lose our place in the line at the grocery store when we remember that we forgot the milk.  We lose a phone number jotted on a scrap of paper.  Sometimes we even lose our minds (usually temporarily, but sometimes indefinitely).

But, it’s the profound losses – the death of a loved one, the loss of a job or relationship or home, that sideline us from daily life, but ultimately can wrench us out of a rut and force us to really examine our lives with new eyes.  As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."

I’ve recently experienced profound loss and found the most comfort from those who have also experienced deep loss, or those that simply reached out to say they’re thinking about me.  I’ve also learned not to take it personally if someone doesn’t acknowledge my loss at all.  It can be overwhelming trying to find the right words sometimes.   

I read an insightful statement on loss and grieving recently, “…you will see that you never really had, in the way that you thought, that person or item you were mourning.  And you will see that you will always have them in other ways.” The first time I read that, I cried.  The second time I read it, which was aloud to my husband, I cried again.  Today, when I read it, I felt at peace in it's truth.

So, I suppose I'm not going to answer this question directly because I don't even feel it's important who/what I actually lost.  I think we've all lost things/people/places/moments/feelings that we wish we still had.  What's most important is how we proceed after our loss, and that is the journey.

People do many different things to cope with stress, loss, and "bumps in the road". How do you handle stress and hard times? 
Submitted by RedlyGal. 

In days of yore margaritas, cigarettes, and/or retail therapy used to do the trick.  My current stress coping activities are not as exciting since I've become a mother, and ousted a lot of my less than healthy habits.  I usually run, write, blog, take a long walk with a friend (preferably beachside) - all of which are benign and almost always get my blood pressure lower.  It's times like these I wake up wondering when and how I became an adult.  Probably around that time the two pink lines showed up on that pregnancy test dipstick....

Why do you live where you live?
Submitted by memtony.

I am undoubtedly a Californian.  I've lived in New York and Ohio, but always knew someday I would return to my birth state.  Why California?  Most everyone would agree that the weather is reason enough.  But, the weather is basically an umbrella reason - meaning the weather facilitates the real reasons why people live here.  For example, my primary sanity-saver is taking walks and runs.  I found that it's hard to run on ice without injuring myself, so when I was in Ohio I spent my winters on a treadmill, which ultimately made me grumpy and pale.  So, in no particular order, here's 10 reasons why I live in California:

1) In & Out Burger - Let me preface by saying, I’m not a fast-food person.  I generally reserve fast-food for when I’m on an Interstate in BFE, and have to stop or risk hypoglycemic shock and/or hunger headaches.  However, the exception is In-and-Out-Burger.  If you’ve had one, you know what I’m talking about.  They’re known for their spare menu of basic items without crazy/manufactured names, fresh ingredients, and a secret menu (“animal style” for those who like mustard, grilled onions, and pickles, “protein style” for those on Atkins, etc.).  When I lived out of state I sincerely missed these burgers.  They are legendary.  My sincerest apologies to my vegetarian neighbors for the following, rather bold photo of a cheeseburger:

In & Out Burger

2 comments

2) It's a blue state - Let's just say it was tough living in Ohio in the 2004 election as my Kerry vote basically counted for nothing.

2004 Pres election map

3) My Family - yes, it can be convenient to be geographically distant when disputes arise, but when your nieces and nephews have birthdays, and the family gets together for fun events, being a plane ride away sucks.

4) Avocados & Artichokes - I hated them both as a kid, but could eat them at every meal now.

5) Earthquakes - world's better than tornadoes, hurricanes, and volcanoes.

6)  San Francisco - one of the best cities in the world.  Though I'm definitely not a Giants fan.  See #7.

7)  Dodger games - In 1999 I actually had my Honda Civic stolen from Dodger stadium. I remember walking out to the parking lot, energized because LA had beat Atlanta, and slowly realized as I was walking around the lot that my car wasn't there anymore.  Despite the bad luck (my husband - who roots for the SF Giants- contends it happened because of the hoodlum Dodger fans), it's still one of my favorite places to be.  It's a park that's still Dodger Stadium and/or Chavez Ravine, not a corporate sponsored park (for now at least).

8) Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park in Big Sur: 

McWayFalls

9) Palm Trees - I'll never forget exiting the subway station in Rome (yes, Italy), and walking into a quiet square that had a large palm tree in the middle.  We were living in Ohio at the time, and I was so excited to see it because it reminded me of home.  My husband thought I was nuts considering the Spanish Steps were about 200 yards away.  I'm not sure why I like them so much, but it pleases me deeply to see a long line of them.

10) The weather - Let me preface by saying, seasons can be beautiful.  When autumn leaves appear in vibrant shades of red, orange, and yellow it's breathtaking.  But, when you've lived most of your life in California, it's really scary driving on ice.  Plus, I didn't realize it actually snowed from November to May, and while shoveling a walkway burns a lot of calories, it's a pain to do.  So, basically, I personally don't need 4 seasons.  I'm happy with the non-seasons in California so I can walk/run/bike/hike/be outdoors year-round.

What is the most interesting class you have ever taken? 
Submitted by Melissa. 

I actually took a class on Pornography in college.  I attended the University of California, Santa Barbara, and in my major - film studies - they had a class devoted to the genre of Porn, taught by Constance Penley, an amazing pop culture professor.  Yes, I actually watched Porn, as part of the class.

UCSB also has Sociology 152 - Human Sexuality - where students learn about the physical, psychological, and emotional elements of sexuality.  The class is taught by a husband and wife, both professors, and it was quite enlightening.  I took this class with an ex-boyfriend, and yes, I received an A in the class.

A lot of classes on sex at this University... Hallelujah for public education!

What's that secret dream job you've always believed you'd be good at, but never gone for? 
Submitted by wedgeh.

In my dream world I would own a winery.  About five years ago I worked part-time at an organic winery in the Santa Ynez valley (the movie "Sideways" was filmed there).  It's one of those undertakings that has so many layers.  For example, it's an upscale endeavor, but it's also earthy agriculture.  The whole amazing process of taking some grapes and producing bottles of wine fascinates me.